WARNING--This post is not intended for those who will freak out at any words related to birth, the immature man, or young minded fools. ---nor the grammar nerds...its not my thing. get over it.
"Are you crazy?" is the response I usually get after explaining we will not be going to Holland, OR Zeeland hospital for this baby to be born. This would happen after questions like "when will you be induced?" or "are you having a scheduled cesarean?" [face palm] Absolutely not. People may think my husband and I are crazy hippies for avoiding a Hospital for something that millions of women have done without any medical intervention. But hey, I did my research. So back off.
The most difficult part of an unmediated, all natural Home-Birth, is getting your family to trust the woman's body and go along with it. so many fears were brought up.What If something goes wrong? What if you can't handle the pain? What if your labor slows? What if the baby gets stuck? After looking into a lot of these things I the best way to avoid these complications was to go through a midwife! I learned SO MUCH through Yolanda (our CM) and was shocked to learn that almost all of the problems you can think of, are easily avoided if you are willing to do the work that comes along with it. I learned that MY body is perfectly capable of having babies. I came from many women who could have babies. If i focus on growing a healthy baby, lots of problems are solved before they can happen. Prevention of the problems that might come is the best thing you can do for both you and your baby. not intervention of drugs when the problem has already occurred.
The first thing I absolutely loved about a midwife is that i knew SHE would be the one (only one) attending my birth. I wouldn't get some switch up last minute. She also REALLY knew her stuff, and was so passionate about the birthing mother and their baby. She was passionate about what mom and baby need, and avoiding anything they didn't need.... which believe it or not is the bigger problem.
We decided to do a water birth in a birth tub (actually a regular tub my brilliant father plumbed into a tub that can go in the middle of our living room:) I knew that the warm water would help me to relax, and learned that water takes the pressure off and prevents tearing---sounds good. no further questions there. We set up the tub, and waited for nature to take its course. [women are TERM from weeks 38-42] 40 weeks came and went. 41 weeks came and went. So many people were getting concerned for me and the baby. I was not concerned, just a little bored and upset i was using maternity leave to take care of a pregnant me, and not a baby like its supposed to be.[little did i know mammals carry their babies longer when a large portion of pregnancy is during a cold winter] If going through the hospital I probably would have been given the choice to be induced. I'm glad I didn't because an impatient woman [me] would have gone for it, and undergone possible complications related to being induced. Not being given those options, I was forced to wait it out until my baby came when she was ready. 9 days past 40 weeks.
around 40 weeks there
Friday morning I had my membranes stripped at the midwife appointment. All this means is that my body would release the last hormone of a 3 hormone cocktail. If the other 2 hormones -the one that says the baby's lungs are fully developed, and Oxycontin- were already present, I would go into labor. If the baby was not ready, nothing would happen.
Saturday morning I woke up feeling sick and crummy. Realized I was in early labor with contractions 8 minutes apart, 45 seconds long. We balanced Activity with rest, and Bob did his job distracting me.
We went to get sushi....
Watched TV, ate good food, Went to meijer....bought a strange assortment of things :/
As soon as i did things picked up a notch..or 7. We called the midwife and said that active labor had begun. ( this is when the midwife would come or you would go to the hospital.) She told us to go for a walk and take a hot shower,. The next time we call will be when we want her to come. After those things were done I told Bob to make the call. he did and she said she would start getting her things together. I'm Glad she didn't come right away because it gave me another set of time to distract me, and I would have started to feel bad for her having to sit there and wait for this baby to get out of me.
Yolanda arrived around 3:30 am. I was already back in the tub. She came in so quietly and I don't even remember her setting up her things "You're having a Baby!" she said. her calming voice seemed to be just what i needed at that point in time. My body would have a contraction, and then I would almost fall asleep between them. Yolanda explained that that is natures hormones taking action as a natural endorphin. After an unknown to me amount of time, Yolanda had me get up and walk around the house. Tried some different laboring positions and Told me that now is when I need to welcome fullness and feeling the baby come down. After I started to feel that I was allowed to get back in that amazing tub. I remember Yolanda asking Bob to turn up the heat in the house a few times. I was hot, and thus looked at Yolanda like what the heck. She says "we need to keep him busy, hes getting emotional" (hahaha) 6:00 rolled around and I was dilated to 7. Yolanda had me try to push to further the dilation process. She made me this crazy birth tea that i was skeptical about...but HOLY MOLY did that stuff kick my butt! After another unknown amount of time, Active pushing began. It was exactly how Yolanda had explained it. "The most difficult thing you will ever do"
( i have drawn a suit on me for your own good)
I remember getting to a point where I thought "ok either I have to push this baby out, or i will stay in labor forever, and its going to be uncomfortable forever" I remember telling everyone "I NEED A BREAK!" I asked Bob to put me down, and my crew just didn't seem to get it when I told them I wanted to go back to bed. ;) Yolanda knew that the time was close, and at 7:50 the last push took place. The cord was wrapped around baby's neck, but in less than a second she was untangled and wrapped up in my arms :)
"I DID IT!" I said. "IM DONE! I DID IT!" After Bob and I stared at her for a while we decided to name her Margaret. She looked nothing like we imagined her to look like. Although Margaret was not top on our list, it was perfect for her. A little later the placenta was delivered and then it was time to hand this precious new life to her father. He was Beaming! After Yolanda helped me down the hall and into my own cozy bed. Bob and I got to just stare at her. enjoying every minute. Yolanda cleaned up and came in to look the baby over. She offered any help with nursing and did her newborn check. She explained what she was doing the whole time. She weighed her in a comfy sling, measured her. checked her joints, re-alined her spine. All in a peaceful manner not getting a whimper out of baby Margaret. And all right in front of us, in the middle of our big warm bed. Margaret was handed back to me and Yolanda thanked us for allowing her to be part of our birth story. She never once claimed any credit for herself. She believes in the laboring woman. Giving birth is something a woman does. not something that happens to her or something someone else does for her.
Would I do another home birth? ABSOLUTELY! of course, ask me that in the first day after giving birth and my answer might have been....."an epidural next time please" but i KNOW what is Best for my baby and I. and i am SO GLAD i chose to do everything without even a dose of Tylenol. I wanted to experience birth. and I did! Just when i really though i couldn't go on and couldn't do it....I DID! God created women to do this. To grow a baby in their body, to deliver a baby through their body, and then to nourish a baby with their body. Throughout the whole thing, I really learned just how true this is. every little detail that goes into how birth works. when the baby takes their first breath, and how the body heals after such a strenuous work out. I am so happy we could stay in our own bed that night. I could eat what I wanted during birth. I could move around and not worry about being monitored. I learned to trust my body. I loved my home-birth experience and think it will be very hard to wait another 3-5 years to work with Yolanda again. We will see ;)
